Alternatives

Have you been led on but now...

 ...he's 'sorting things out?'
or
...he just 'needs time?'

Well, then.

Who needs this?

When you have this!

I ain't even mad.

A Strange Game

From the 1983 movie "WarGames"

     I'll always believe this. You can't win by fighting or scheming. You can't win by expecting the other person to lose. No, the one who truly wins is the one who doesn't play.

     It doesn't just involve people. I think this applies to anything that causes you anguish. There's multiple things that we find ourselves not being able stay with or leave. It's just a state of being caught. There's nothing else there except fighting not to get hurt, having something to prove, or trying to find validation. You can't beat it. Ultimately, you just have to get up and leave.

    You win by moving on. You win when you can look back and not be affected. You win when that whole scenario becomes irrelevant to your current life. You win when, maybe, you don't even remember it that well.

     The only winning move is not to play.

Round Two

     It seems as though I just briefly relived my last shitty relationship. At least this time, I smartened up and got out in about four months as opposed to two years.

     That being said, I don't think people develop trust issues when the first person screws them over, I think it's always when the second person does. Because the first time, you can just attribute it to that one person. You think, "Oh, it's that guy. He was just an awful guy." Then you naively go out into the world with all this confidence thinking almost every other guy will want to bundle you up and show you everything you deserve. And that's when you learn the hard way that no one is going to protect you. It's not only going to be that one guy that lets you down, it's going to be a lot of them. So toughen up, princess.

    Yeah, I know I sound cynical and bitter. I so am. I'm young and that whole lecture, I know. Give me some time and I'm sure it'll wear off.

I've Been There

     Where you are, I've been there, too. I don't have the words to make it better, all I can say is I know what it looks like - I've seen it in the mirror. This time I don't have any advice. I just want you to know that I've been there. And whether or not it still shows on our faces, so have the rest of us.

     We all want to feel like we have something - we can't name it or describe it, but we search for it in the faces of everyone from newly introduced strangers to our closest family and friends. We look for a smile, a laugh, or even the simplest nod of understanding. We have to know that there's something about us that makes others feel drawn to us. Heck, we all just want to be liked.

     I've been in that spot where it feels like I don't have anything. I've been there. I know what it feels like to feel like you're just one in a crowd. It's worse than being disliked or hated. In that case, at least you're something. Like I said, I don't have any advice. The best I can do is assure you that, without doubt, I've felt that before. I've been there, too.

20,000 Strong

     I was at work today and I needed to convert inches to millimeters so I googled "metric conversions." I found a site that worked and I got my conversions. Feeling content, I was about to click out of it when I saw the "like us on facebook!" button. I was like, "Seriously? The only thing you do here is input numbers and hit enter." What kind of people are behind their computers thinking, "Metric conversions?! Hell yeah!" So I was leaned back in my chair having a little chuckle at the idea when I saw just how many people had actually liked metric-conversions.org. It was 20,000. They are 20,000 strong.

I'm Awkward; It Can't Be Helped

     I'm such a 12-year-old girl when it comes to cute guys. At work last week there was this handsome fellow from sales being friendly and talking to me down in the basement and I'm sure I was just smiling like a dork happy to be there. Well, he offered me zucchini bread later so maybe it wasn't as tragic as I originally thought. You don't just hand out zucchini bread. But anyways he'll make his smooth little comments like "Nice to see you again, Katie. Maybe they could get you some windows down here, you know?" and smile so charmingly and I'm just like, "uh, ha... windows." Face palm!

Well, hey, I'm in the engineering crowd. I'm allowed to be awkward!

Right?
Haha.
I hope that flies.

Screw That and Screw You

One day I just decided to be that girl. You know, the one who doesn't put up with bullshit. I decided I had the whole world in front of me and I decided to stop wasting my time. I got mad and I got up off the floor and I left. After all that time, I really did it - I just left.

I wasn't always that girl. I used to stick around because I couldn't imagine anything different. I was scared to get pissed and start running because I honestly thought I'd somehow regret leaving him behind.

Are you kidding me?

How could I ever think that?

Hell.

I don't know.

At least now I'm that girl that can straight up leave. It doesn't matter if I wasn't for quite some time - heck, give me a break, I did finally close the door. And from then on, I became that chick who can wholeheartedly say, "screw that and screw you."